Mr Right at Mr Biggs

 Mr Right at Mr Biggs

Author: Adeniyi Joy Oreoluwa

Date: 20th April 2023

It all started with a sunny and unusually hot day in Lagos. The sun was shining, the birds weren’t singing, the trees were wilting and I was burning up literally - not figuratively, literally.

It didn’t take me long to realise I had to do something quickly to save myself from imminent dehydration. That’s when I spotted it, yes it not him, we’ll get to the ‘him’ part in due time.

I saw a glowing sign that read ‘Mr Biggs’ and I knew salvation was near. I stepped in fully intending to get a chilled bottle of Swan Water (I mean it’s well known that something fresh…)

However, I digress. I was greeted by a full-blast AC and a big smile when I entered. I felt my muscles begin to relax as soon as I sank into a very fluffy seat and reached for the menu.

What I saw instantly kicked my date with water to the curb. The dishes were mouth-watering and very affordable. Having gathered my wits about me I settled for the Chop-Up (Jollof rice & chicken), Moin-moin and a bottle of water. Then I ordered a takeaway serving of Asan and Supreme ice cream. Now I know you’re thinking that’s all too much. But when you’ve gone through a lot, ahbi a lot has gone through you a good fast food restaurant to eat away your sorrow is required. Besides, when there’s affordable food, why not go on an eating spree?

It was after the waiter took the order I saw him. Yes, we’ve finally gotten to the ‘him’ part. I had just dropped my menu and was about to wear my headset when I felt eyes on me. Imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw this bobo openly staring. My first reaction was, didn’t this guy’s mum teach him any manners? But my food had just arrived so I didn’t have much time to think about the fellow.

The food! Oh my God! Just thinking about it now is making my mouth water. The first thing was the presentation, my eyes ate before my mouth. Then the aroma, I could scarcely hold myself long enough to say a hurried prayer before digging in. Of course, I started with the Moin-moin, I mean where else should a person start? Moin-moin wey go Harvard, Moin-moin wey geh PhD.

This one you’re looking at me with side eye, it’s like you think I’m overhyping this thing. Well, I’m not and trust me, I’m an authority in these things.

Next, I went for the chicken, I don’t know if I’m the only one, but I have this thing for starting with the proteins first. So you can imagine my embarrassment when I heard the chair across me screech and looked up to see the guy I saw earlier seated directly opposite me. Mind you I was still trying to dissect the chicken with my mouth. I couldn’t drop it so I just feigned nonchalance and tried to finish what I had started. It was then I looked up to really assess him.

‘The gods are amongst us!’ Height? Check. Beards? Check! Skin? Black!!! When he finally spoke, I’d never forget those words. He was like ‘Hi, my name is Deji’.

Were you expecting something more dramatic? Well if you ask the butterflies in my stomach, I think they’d agree that that’s more than enough drama for anyone.

How do they say it? Oh yeah, the rest is history. We bonded over a plate of smoky Jollof and spaghetti. I know, I know. What sort of guy orders spaghetti at a fast-food restaurant in Lagos? It was a red flag for me too but I got over it- eventually, besides the spaghetti is really good too. Wait wait, before you say what I know you’re likely to say, I’m not just defending my man ( I like the sound of that), it’s actually good. What’s that? You agree? Well you should, like I said, I’m an authority in this field.

Where was I? Yes, we bonded over Jollof rice and spaghetti. Cheesy? Nah, it’s my own love story. Something’s led to other things, Deji proposed at Debonairs Pizza. Yes, food is a vital part of this journey. And all that brings us to today. Why am I telling you this story? It’s not for you to start shouting “God when, God when”, Bimbo, it’s you I’m looking at. It’s for you to go to the nearest Mr Biggs eatery around me, sorry around you. You’d get immense value for your money and who knows, maybe you’d get something else (wink).

Now, tomorrow’s my wedding and…. Imagination wan kill me.

Got you! Yes, yes. It’s all my imagination, everything except the food. That food is heavenly. Ronke please drop your slippers, please ejoor it hasn’t gotten to that.

Besides I’m about to order two servings of Ofada Rice, who knows, maybe I’ll fall in love with the delivery man. Lol.